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02 November 2004 @ 07:54 pm
Tomorrow the Wonthaggi year eleven students are coming to clubhouse. I have to do a speech about me and my illness &ect. COMMENTS APPERCIATED

Kate Wilson
Age Seventeen.
Schizophrenia start of this year.

At the age of Eleven, I started hearing voices, in particular two male voices. Their voices were deep and demanding. They yelled and demanded I hurt myself and my friends and family. I thought it was normal, just a put of going through puberty. One day I confined in a friend and she told me this was not normal, but neither of us did anything. A few years roll by and I hit thirteen. One night my mum was in bed and my dad was at work; I grabbed a bottle of mentholated spirits and took a few mouthfuls. After the third mouthful I was gagging and choking so I ran to the bathroom and vomited. My dad came home to find me sitting by the toilet, He asked why I did it, and I told him “Because I don’t want to live anymore”. A few weeks passed and He called the school and they arranged for me to see the social worker. She referred me to Psyke services we’re I meet my case manager on a weekly basis. They diagnosed me with Depression. They knew nothing about the voices, “no way, I’m not crazy” I would tell myself over and over. But one day I caved and told my case manager, they started me on a low dose of anti-psychotic medication called Risperdal. They kept upping the medication but it did nothing. When I hit fifteen I started cutting not deep just sallow cuts. My grades started to drop, because I couldn’t concentrate with these two voices in my head yelling and abusing me. Around June 2003 I had my first of many admissions to a Psyke ward in Clayton.
I had approximately six stays in this Psyke ward over a course of a year.
I had attempted suicide more times then I can count on both hands, mainly overdosing on pills. So my parents locked all the pills and sharp objects up in a cupboard, So I started burning myself with cigarettes.

I started getting in trouble at school, One incident that involved the voices telling me to kill one off my old friends, and I repeated this to a friend and she told on me, this got me a week suspension. I also cut my thumb and got another weeks suspension. So I left school at the end of year nine because I was getting so paranoid that the government was after me. I spent about a year staying home all day, never going out because I was so paranoid. Things weren’t looking good. I was now sixteen and didn’t go to school so Psyke services transferred me over to the adult Psyke team where I meet my new case manager. We discussed a new medication called Clozaril also an antipsychotic, but id have to have a stay in hospital. They hadn’t decided on a date. One day I cut myself because the voices told me, My case manager and my mum went up the doctors, my case manager got the doctor to sign a recommendation form to send me to Flynn which is an adult Psyke ward in Tralagon. I stayed at Flynn for three weeks, during this time I meet some uh? Interesting people. They took me of the Risperdal and slowly started to increase the Clozaril.

Before I started coming to clubhouse, I’d spend half the day in bed, because I was up half the night worrying about the government coming to get me. I was low in confidence; even now I don’t have a great amount of confidence. But thanks to support and encouragement of clubhouse I can actually answer the phone without having a panic attack. Clubhouse has been great for me; I have met people who have been in similar situations, and I have met some life long friends.